It was 12-years ago when I started this blog, thanks to Yoo-mi and Mark's timely nudge. The last few years I'd nearly forgotten it exists. Today I crossed its path again, searching for photos of the Shinko La Pass and re-called I had posted some.
The blog is a literal time-machine, one that takes me back to the start of a rich inner and outer learning journey -- On Fire, She Answers, Christmas Eve, and Not Even a Glance.
But it's a heart and mindset that seem unattainable now. Too many deadlines. Too many causes to care about. Too much information. Too much heartbreak. A few too many decades -- I turned for 40 this year. :)
Perhaps I'm wrong. Maybe it is attainable, but the required speed of absorbing experiences now is too fast. The illusion of never enough time to reflect, introspect, share.
Since my last post, I've worked in endearing corners of south/southeast Asia, albeit often only to spend time with my laptop :), but getting in some micro hydro visits, and precious moments with awe-inspiring ground-level practitioners.
What makes me re-connect with Inner Urja? At 2:30am Yangon time? :) I'm not sure.
Amidst the heavy writer's block, it seems unreal that I could have nurtured a blog. The inner waves were rough then too, but in the earlier posts I sense complete presence and deep compassion to everything that comes.
I accept that I cannot go back to being the person I was 12-years ago. And why desire so?
Just like the Brama Kala that blooms at midnight and only once in that life, that Dipti remains only in the form of transformed energy, passed onto the next moment.
What matters is Now and how present I am to it.
If I listen closely to the rhythm of the monsoon rain, the stillness of the early morning to come, the dhamma that imbibes this city,
If I note the random waves of stillness, anxiety, and Grace within,
I'll see that I'm always blooming. May we all keep blooming.